The trouble with MLC is that they will only do what they want to do, when they want to do it. You can’t force them even If you think you know best!
I kept hoping that my H would see sense & give up the OW but I’m still waiting, nearly 2 yrs since he left & there’s no sign of him coming back, ever. The other night he told me I was his soulmate. He said that the OW thought that he was her soulmate but he couldn’t bring himself to say it back to her. He said he realises now that the affair was all his fault & the spiteful things he said about me/to me were because he was trying to find reasons to explain why he felt the way he did. When I asked him why, if he knew it wasn’t due to me, hadn’t he fought to get me back he said by the time he realised, “things had moved on”! So he’s prepared to throw away someone who he’s known for a 35+ years & is his soulmate for a young, 35 year old, selfish woman who had no morals or concerns contributing to the breakdown of our marriage. It doesn’t make sense to me.
I think the MLC makes them very selfish & ego driven & that is why working on you has to be a priority. 5 years down the line, he may still be the same but you, with everything that you are doing, will have blossomed. At least that’s what I’m hoping for for me & you. Somewhere I read that a MLC can go on up to 7 years in some cases - the trouble is that, even if they come out of it, they might not come back to you.
The Detach & Survive book is only available as a download but has been very useful for me.
Take care of yourself.
M 1986 ILYBINILWY Jan 2016 Found out about affair May 2016. H 57yrs. OW 23 yrs younger. Separated Sept 2016
