Nicole and LW, thanks for the support. Jim, he does have kids for 2 days a week. and yes I rather him not have them at all but practically I need at least a day to cook, clean, do groceries and get myself ready for the upcoming week since I do work a hectic full time job. I dont know how to give updates anymore. There is such a dull pulsating pain in me throughout the day. It is mainly because I miss my children when they are with him. It has been about 10 days since he left, it feels like he has been gone way longer actually come to think of it he emotionally was. Good riddance physically now. Only communication has been texts about children exchanges. It is very hard to manage kids on my own but the worst is the 2 days that they are not with me. He picked them up on Sunday and I was fuming when he came, hardly spoke. He came back inside after I shut the door to pick up something and saw me crying my eyes out. I just gave a quick reply and walked away. I miss my children sooooo much when they are not with me. I know it is good for my sanity and survival to get a little time off, for self care and sustenance really but the mother in me misses her babies. I really need to GAL and plan the 2 days well to have a better grip on myself and not just do TV marathons. I have started to wonder if I hate him now, especially because he is snatching my children away from me. I dont feel any love, there is feeling of loss and a heck lot of anger. I wish he did move away to the other coast like he plans and never ever comes back so I dont have to see his face again. My kids will have a great mother and some stability instead of this confusing daddy's home today nonsense. I have come to realize he is a pathetic father, just being a biological father shouldnt grant you anything, you should have to earn it. He broke their home and sees them part time, in what world is he a good dad? I feel guilty though, not because I broke the MR, that's on WH. But how could I love and have children with this irresponsible man child? My daughters deserve so much better and I got them this wayward runaway filth of a father? I do not have any respect for a man who can be cruel to separate 2 babies from their mother, that too a nursing infant. My GOT marathon makes me feel I married Joffrey. Had he murdered me in my sleep that would have been kinder in so many ways. I seem to have gone from this depressed, scared person to a sad, bitter, angry creature. No word on the mediation paperwork though, he has moved out since then so he has not had a change of heart. I think the financial obligation got him thinking his next move which would benefit him the most. At this point I just dont care, it would be a relief if he just disappeared. All I need is my daughters.
