WAW or WW? What should I do to save my MR.

[sandi2]

It is good to hear from you. I'm sorry things have not improved.

I don't know when this will end and I really miss her so much, although we see each other every day and we stay under the same roof. W said she really enjoyed the alone time.

Remember the rule about not believing everything she says? This is the time to apply it. I'll share a secret with you about W's who are thinking about leaving her M. Sometimes she will say discouraging things, so that the H won't get hopeful that she has changed her mind. I realize it doesn't sound logically, but that is the frame of mind she is in currently.

It is okay to miss her. It is okay to love her. It is okay to feel saddened that your W wants a D. You can feel however you want, just as long as you don't act on it. This is a very difficult time for you. It's really good that you don't cry in front of your W and child. You have stopped begging her to reconsider, and that is great improvement in you.

Last Friday, when we had lunch together, she mentioned again about the timeline. I responded by saying no matter what happens in the future, we should try to live happily now and give as much love as we can for our S. This was a good 180 for me, I would've begged and pleaded before. However, it still hurt really bad. I ended up really depressed in the afternoon. However, when we all return home, I tried to be as positive as I can. She was nice in that evening to me and S4. So basically I haven't been able to detach because my emotions clearly get affected W easily. However, I started acting detached at least and held the impulse to beg and plea.

Good job!

The weekend was nice. We went for lunch together with S4 on Saturday, and had a really nice time. What's more important is that she repeated to me multiple times before that it was the last time we go out together. However, we still go out together. This confirms the idea that "don't believe what she says." Then I should not take what she said about moving out and eventually get divorced too seriously. Or at least I should believe that her mind is changing all the time. Overall, she is calmer than before and is willing to spend more time with our S4.

Yes, I'm sure she didn't want you to misinterpret the nice weekend to mean she has changed her mind about D.

One thing strange is that she brought up the topic of having a second child.

If you never listen to another word I say, please hear me now. Do not have another child, thinking it will save your M. It is hard enough, when the M is happy. Bringing a child into a M that is unhappy, will not fix the problem. I don't get a good feeling when a woman starts talking about wanting a divorce one day and having a baby the next. My advice is not to show reaction at this time.