I’m so scared - I just can’t bear the thought that I’ve lost her.
Why? What about losing her scares you? It sounds like your MR has been fraught with problems. From what you've outlined:
- She's an alcoholic. - She's abusive to a three time cancer survivor! - She had to be committed.
What are you trying to save? Is it your marriage to her? Or your marriage to the ideal of her?
Is this the life you want for your boys? To live with a mother that is so damaged?
Jaylove, if you want to save her you need to save yourself and your boys first. Move on, let her go, and become the best father that you can be for those two precious boys! Their mom will either wake up and come home, or she won't. But what does R look like to you? Would you accept her back as the psychiatric, alcoholic abuser she was? Or only if she is willing to do the work necessary to get healhty?
Do you not see your own value? You deserve better! More importantly those two boys deserve better! The damage she has done is already going to affect them for the rest of their lives! Please get yourself into IC, and then get them into IC too.
Steve I lOVE your frankness. Tbh I’m sure if I hadn’t have lost my first wife in such tragic circumstances aged 34 I’d have given W2 the boot a long while ago. My self esteem has been shattered In this current marriage and though we have had good happy times, her problems have always reared their head and caused me to be perpetually treading on egg shells.
From what I’ve been told by therapists - when sleeping the logical (left side ) of the brain rests, while the right side (emotional) side process stuff, without the help of the logical side, hence in situations like mine I’m having vivid and disturbing dreams, waking up at 02:30am drenched in sweat and feeling very sad about the sitch. -I’m inferring from that that I’m still desperate to try and keep this marriage together, or at least my sub-conscious is?
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
