Re: Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 3

[Davide]

Hey folks,

Just checking back in. There's really nothing much to report in my situation. I am continuing to see my IC, to bike everywhere, to climb, to do yoga, to meditate. I am still reading the Little Book of Letting Go, and trying to practice some of the releases in there. Over the weekend I did a lot of work in the yard, trying to make it escape-proof for my pup who had been burrowing under one of the fences and sawing up a small tree that had fallen over. That is a 180 for me as I did very little around the house. Just watering the house plants and taking care of the garden, and maintaining the house relatively clean (difficult with a dog who sheds all the time) is a change for me. I've also bought a bed for the 2nd bedroom, a new couch cover, and am trying to (cheaply) redecorate the house a bit.

This weekend was tough as I really had no one to talk with or do anything with. I ended up walking the dog up to a dog bar on Friday night and going out to dinner and a movie by myself on Saturday night just to get out of the house. It was a bit lonesome. Thankfully on Sunday I got to go climbing and then out to a meetup group to speak Italian, and then out for a group bike ride. Yesterday I met with a group of friends for a regular Monday night dinner which was really great. I had to overcome at least some fear to show up as nearly everyone in that group not only knows my sitch, but also knows that W is dating this other guy. That said, I'm really glad I did it and it felt good to connect socially. Today is my first full-day back at work, although students aren't in for a little while.

There has been little interaction with the W. She came by Sunday and Monday evening to take the dog out and spend time with her, which was perfect because I was out, and because it guaranteed that I wouldn't run into her at dinner (it's a group of common friends). She emailed me to ask for some tax documents and complimented me on the fence I put up. I was all business in response. I also think that I unwittingly discovered where she is living as I passed by an apartment on my bike which had our moped parked outside. I was wondering but now I kind of wish that I didn't know. Thankfully I don't have to pass by there very often. I've definitely had more feelings of resentment and anger bubble to the surface since I found out about her dating, especially since she has known the OM for over a year. I want to acknowledge the feelings and the thoughts behind it, but let it go and not let it spiral.

Overall I feel like I am doing pretty well. The final frontier for me is getting back to a normal sleeping pattern. I'm still too reliant on the help of NyQuil and the like to fall asleep and that is leaving me quite groggy in the mornings, especially as I am transitioning into getting up each day at 5:30. That said, I need the sleep one way or another and if that is the only way I can get it, I'm gonna do what I have to do.

Thanks to everyone for the support!