REMEMBER: Only respond to direct questions. With as few words as possible. If she is just texting information you do not respond.
EX: "Are you going on a date?" "No." Would have been perfect. NGS kicks in "Drive safe hope you have a good time." ?!? Why? She already knows this.
EX2: "thanks. Sorry thought that you must be having a coffee date." "I said I understand how you feel that way..." Bad. She wasn't asking a question. There was no need to respond. Validation is inappropriate here because she expressed a thought not a feeling!
Last:
EX3: "My GPS isn't working." There is no question in here. So need to respond. If she wanted help she would request it. In fact, she explicitly said she DIDN'T want help and NGS kicks in and provide it anyway!!
Did you have made no progress at all. Have you read NMMNG? That should be your first move, read that book and institute its suggestions!
Here is the problem:
"I dont necessarily want her to think Im on a date then she'll start dating." YOU ARE STILL TRYING TO CONTROL HER!
Look, no matter what you do or don't do. Say or don't say. If she is going to date she is going to date. You could go on a million dates. Or you could never date again. It has zero impact on whether or not she dates. You are S, do you really think what you do or say controls her? If it did you would still be living together. This is NGS to the max!! You have to stop this "if I don't do this, then maybe she won't either" thinking. It is causing you to do things you shouldn't do.
Who cares if she thinks you are dating. Or not dating? Did you cheat on her? If not, she still cheated. Your not cheating didn't prevent her from cheating. So why would you conclude that not dating will make her not date? Also, you have no idea whether or not OM is still around. Likely he is. And here you are worried about her dating or not dating based on what you do!
Did, I've seen a lot of guys here (myself included) with NGS. But your case is the most extreme I've seen.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
