In a nutshell My W was left on her own with lodgers acting as her guardian when she was 13 years old. This has caused her to have abandonment issues throughout her adult life and she has suffered from depression for quite a lot of our 11 years of marriage. She also has been a heavy drinker but since her mother passed two years ago she became abusive to me and this was witnessed by our children on occasion too. I’ve had cancer three times which has put me strain on us and put me in debt too.
My W went on a massive alcohol binge two months ago, while taking two anti depressants which caused a bad interaction leading to a nervous breakdown. She spent a month in a private psychiatric hospital and after a few days contacted me to say she no longer wanted to be married and would be speaking to a D lawyer. I hoped that a period of therapy and counselling would help her but shortly before she was discharged she filed for divorce. She moved out of our house this weekend.
We have two boys aged 10+8 who are currently living with me in the family home.
I have been suffering from anxiety attacks in the early hours of the morning since BD and have been exercising, eating well, visiting old friends and spending quality time with the kids, but still struggling daily with feelings of sadness and regret.
In woke up at 2.50am and again just now at 5:20am - both times in a cold sweat after having had vivid dreams I really freaked out because my W’s recent actions have been very clear- she has filed for D three weeks ago and has moved out to a new rented house on saturday. I have been GAL - meeting old friends and spending quality time’s with my kids since they’ve come home from holiday, but the more stuff I read about D it’s clear my W is going full steam ahead with this divorce.
I’m so scared - I just can’t bear the thought that I’ve lost her.
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
