My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 3

[ovrrnbw]

Glad you read it pain18, we all suffer, it's just how we manage it that matters in the end.

I'm going back to last month to think about the things I did that worked - do what works, right? My list:
- calling it an affair: she hates it, but she responds and comes back after
- turning down invitations b/c she is in relationship w/ someone else - she tries harder and talks R after
- not being there to help her like a H would be- she gets mad but then continues to come back or text/call (even if it
is 3-4 days later); she initiated R talk after this
- short answers, nonspecific on where I am and when I'll be doing things
- calling her lies and games what they are, pointing out her hypocrisy, noting that she's looking for magic/easy way
out
- not answering most calls AKA giving in and doing everything she wants me to
- not planning things around her

And just to make everyone puke a little more, I guess I forgot that she called me the OM's name a couple of times in late July/early August when we were "trying". She crapped her pants both times and texted apologies, I walked away immediately.

My sister told me I'm being a puss and avoiding - I'm not even mad about it! (she reads my thread) - but I haven't tried talking to WW since she ran off 1.5 weeks ago. She was talking about the hard things, like selling our nice car, and having tough convos with WW.

I'm thinking about what Nicole said: making decisions to bring some justice and stop letting her take advantage of me. Not sure what to do there other than some of the stuff I listed above that "works". Probably not going to engage her much if she does come home while I'm there, but if she persists I will be completely honest.

Neffer is giving me the same advice in 2 posts, which means I'm not listening very well. So I'm trying now to listen to that advice and detach further.

Thanks to everyone who continues to help me here.