You are not alone in making mistakes, so have I & I imagine most of us on this website. So don’t beat yourself up, life’s difficult enough already!
It will be a long haul but if you start to focus on you then if you can’t save your marriage, you will have become a stronger person & more prepared for what your future has to offer.
M 1986 ILYBINILWY Jan 2016 Found out about affair May 2016. H 57yrs. OW 23 yrs younger. Separated Sept 2016