Am I coming or going?

[DonH]

I guess I still move too fast. I can't get it right. I can figure out many things, but this one. I would give anything to have married a decent guy and not deal with this crap.

Now, this... ^^^^^^^^ I agree with 100%. I am right there with you. It's what has made me who I am, as avoidant as I am and until recently not really into dating or anyone. I have said to myself that if I am somehow ever lucky enough to find a high quality partner again that I will really value it based on what I've gone through the past dozen years (or more).

We and certainly I, do not want to beat you down more. That's not what this is about. In fact, the bigger picture can wait, it's band guy I'm more focused on as something in my gut tells me he is a good guy - perhaps with issues and baggage but EVERYONE seems to have issues and baggage at this age, so that is almost part of any picture at this point. IF and I do mean IF, he was saying to you "I don't feel 100% right now and I think I need to at two weeks so we need to end this" If that's what he really was saying, I agree, you probably just need to let it go. I just for the life of me don't think he was doing or saying that. I think he was just thinking out loud and blurted out his thought. Said another way it could be "I feel 90% there with this girl, I hope the other 10% comes in time." If that's true and I'm correct, I don't see it as him saying you are not enough. I think that hearing anything close to "you are not enough" was a huge hot button for you and it set you off. I don't think you heard anything he had to say after that - and perhaps are just protecting yourself now and not wanting to hear it. He tried to make it right, he begged you not to leave and even tried to hold you - yet...

If you are done because of what he said in the moment, I think you are making a poor decision, but it's totally your's to make. If you are done because you think he wants too much and really was saying you are not enough in two weeks, that's another story. I just know if it were me, I'd at least sit down with him and ask "What in the heck went on Friday night? Let's talk about this." He said he misses you, he said he's sorry for what happened. I think he's said he didn't mean it the way it came out. What else do you want him to do? You have not said much about what communication has happened in the last 24-hours. It would be really sad if both of you are waiting for the other to make a move. I'm not big on "closure" - I'm just not. But in this case, I'd be needing closure.

That's what I think. See what everyone else including your IC has to say.