I miss having a companion, yes. It felt great to talk to someone about my day to, to hang out with, to talk about life with. To ask how my day was and to wish me a great one. Again, that felt really good. And I liked him. He listens, he doesn't judge, he engages, he validates, he's funny, and geeky cute.
The 90% thing was him telling me there was something WRONG. He said it. something doesn't feel completely right. And in my head, yeah, my red flag is, 90% should be freakin' great at 2 weeks. How can you seriously ask for more than a woman you say is amazing, you are excited to be around, looked forward to seeing..... I mean, how much more could I possibly be at 2 weeks?! That's more than I could ask for in a guy for two weeks. SO that is on him and his issues. He wants love at first sight. I don't believe in it.
I am not capable of not becoming emotionally attached. I can't do it. If I like someone, I like them. HC, I wasn't emotionally attached to. I just didn't like the way I was being treated. It felt bad. But when I really do like someone and we connect, a part of me attaches. I can't change that. Whether I laid in bed with him or not. But to tell me at that time, is scarring. None if it really matters anyways, I think it is over and won't get that face to face meeting, and I am certainly not setting up.
As far as my daughter.... she's dealt with a a lot. A home and school switch is a big deal because it's not like she gets to move with Mommy and Daddy. I don't think there is anything wrong with promising her a dog. She did say to me "Mom, since it's only the two of us, and there are no boys in our house, we need a boy dog". She will adapt to whatever I need to do, but she does need ot feel like she has a little input on such a huge life change. Which is way more difficult for a kind in her sitch. but yes, ultimately, I make the final decision, and she knows it.
I am just beat down. Emotionally exhausted and I can barely function. I need some divine intervention. Or wine, and lots of it.
I guess I still move too fast. I can't get it right. I can figure out many things, but this one. I would give anything to have married a decent guy and not deal with this crap.
