However, without trying to sound like I’m making excuses, I already do lots of stuff with the kids when I have them and always have.
Good, as long as it doesn't involve W then you're already doing some GAL'ing. My point wasn't that you do or do not do it currently, I was just clarifying to you that it is not a contradiction, you can in fact GAL with your kids.
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But W is constantly moving goal posts and pulling the rug from under me with her own plans. For example, yesterday I got kids all bathed and ready for a day out at mini golf. Kids were excited. W comes back from her sisters where she had been overnight and suddenly my D doesn’t want to go golf, she wants to be with mummy. W is calling shots on when she is going to be there and when she isn’t. Massive cake eating. If I resist it causes a fight. I’ve avoided the babysit thing because I want to be with them. Maybe I’m enabling the cake eating by doing this?
I tried reading back to see if you two are separated and saw that you mentioned she wanted to file for legal S, but I couldn't figure out if you're still living together right now? If so then yeah that makes the above situation a tough one because you can't control when your W comes and goes and how your kids will react. In the above example I wouldn't push your D to go, if she doesn't want to then just tell her that it's her decision to make, but that you and S are going anyway. I don't think you're really doing anything to enable your W's cake-eating in this example, it was just a case of bad timing.
