Has it gone too far?

[SteveLW]

uk, we all struggle with these things. But the contradiction isn't with DBing. It is with your WAW. She wants a D, but wants you to be romantic? She wants space but accuses you of ignoring messages?

Here is the thing, even if you did everything perfect, from this point forward, it wouldn't be good enough for you WAW. You are still focused on her. BELIEVE nothing she says.

GAL is not in contradiction with young kids. Either they are with you and you are engaged with them, or they are with her. When they are with her you are busy. You are occupied. When you are around she is finding time to go out, correct? Why can't you also go out when she is around? Also they have these things called babysitters in case your goings out conflict.

Empathy? Yes you should be empathetic. That is what validation is for! Read that thread. Over and over again. Become a validation master! Note: validation also works in other relationships. I have been using validation at work. It is a great technique!

Never ignore messages. But also, do not response to messages that do not require a response. See the difference? If she asks a question, answer it. IN AS FEW WORDS AS YOU CAN. Yes or no answers should be answered with a yes or no. All other questions should be answered directly in as few words as possible.

My understanding is that your W is still in an active A (sorry if I am misremembering). So why would you care about her complaints??! She is sleeping with someone else but is complaining you aren't being romantic? That you are procrastinating? That you are unempathetic? And that you ignore messages? Yeah, no of things compare with getting naked and allowing another man to use her body sexually. See how ridiculous that sounds!?

DBing isn't contradictory. It may contradict with what your instincts are telling you. Your instincts are wrong and will end up getting you to where you don't want to go. DBing is guaranteed. Maybe not guaranteed to save your MR, but it is guaranteed to save you from yourself!