I do imagine your life has many benefits to not being constantly in his toxic presence. There will be struggles and battles ahead but I believe the worst is behind you, especially as I am sure that you can handle whatever comes at you. I know you can.
Best wishes
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Catching up and it was great to read you are doing well. I’m glad you’re finding the peace that comes when the crazy leaves! Sorry you’re still dealing w/him but they really do make their own case against themselves:)
Wow - thanks everyone for the amazing outpouring of advice and support. Gordie, Job, DNJ, Andrew, KML, Pax, Bttrfly, Brubeck, Oneart, Roist and KYH: thank you, thank you and thank you.
Working on straightening out my kids' passports situation and drafting a new will.
Just wanted to drop a line to remind all that there is a wonderful life on the other side of this! I cannot believe how much my life has improved in the last 6 months. Whoa.
I am up for another promotion at work and was given nice praise from my boss. This is important for those of you long time stay at home moms who get hit by this MLC bus. Reinvention is at your fingertips! You are already so strong from surviving this!
I have lots of friends. The more people I tell my story to, the more support and encouragement I receive. People at work now know about my D and many coworkers now invite me to many social gatherings. (I give them the PG version of my story. I have not told them that my ex thought I was trying to shoot and poison him. Nor have I mentioned that he wanted to go out all hours of the night and sleep around but then sleep here! CRAZY days!!!)
In MLC news: I sent my ex a settlement proposal. He sent me a rage text and never countered anything. By the system he owes me more per month so I asked for this arrears. He was outraged. He said he'll go to the judge and say I have committed perjury?!? In his response to the court he actually stated what he's willing to pay me in support! LOVE how he *thinks* he can decide this number that he picked from up his a$$ and to the left. Umm, there is a system for calculating this. He continues to think he is steering this ship. So, to court we'll go to settle how much support he owes me. (Hope we get the same judge who slapped his wrist last time.)
A few weeks ago he texted me to inform me there was a severe thunderstorm warning for the next few hours and asked me to keep the kids safe. I wanted to write back: "ok, thanks for the great advice. We're going to go to the ocean and pole vault in (with a metal pole). I am sure somehow, someway it makes sense to him. Love how he moves 2 miles away "to be free" and continues to attempt to micromanage. Sigh . . .
A few days ago, I received a text from one of the dads on my son's sports team. He said he saw me from a distance at tryouts the other night and just wanted to say hello. Then he wished me a good day. I saw it and put the phone down like I had just read something I wasn't supposed to see. I wasn't sure what to make of it. Then read it again and wondered if he was hitting on me?!?
I cannot lie, after years and years of being told that I was old, and had "let myself become middle aged", it was nice to receive the reach out.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Just wanted to clarify that the dad who reached out is not married. His wife passed away a few years ago. I don't think I need to tell you all that a reach out from a married man is NOT welcome. LOL!!!
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
I've walked the path w/you from the very beginning and knew that once you figured out how to deal w/him, you would detach enough to be able to find some humor in your situation. Your h is just out there and doesn't understand that he can't control anything but himself. Going to court is only going to make him look stupid once again and make his lawyer richer by the hour.
You've come such a long way and I'm so proud of you. Yes, once you've reached the other side, the sky tends to clear and you can see all that you need to see.
Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
You are a strong woman and you kept/increased your sense of humour even through tough times. Already you shine, buy I imagine that is only the start. Your situation has added stress layers interlaced with protective carapace covered with a dull dust of darkness due to the negativity/toxicness endured.
You are leaving all that behind you shedding the unwanted burdens. You are about to THRIVE. Enjoy.
Yes that attention must have been nice to receive.
Best wishes
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Yes he is interested in getting to know you better
You are a catch and always have been
Wishing you the best on your visit to court
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
