My W is coming home from her holiday with the two boys on Friday. I only received the draft divorce petition two weeks ago and her L had written asking for me to come to a childcare arrangement “as a matter of urgency” - I’m not ready to make a hasty decision yet but my wife says she won’t move into her new rented house until we have an agreement in place (she doesn’t want to be accused of abandoning her family if she moves out on her own) For now I think it’s better for the children to be in the family home until they start back at school in September.
Can anyone pls give me some advice about this sitch? Hanks
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
jay, you were already at LRT stage at BD, in my opinion. You don't have to make a hasty decision and you can tell your W that you need time to process things. If she wants to move out then tell her to do so and that you're not stopping her.
You really should come to an agreement with her regarding visitation, as well as finances, and it should be as equal as possible for visitation and as reasonable as possible for a financial agreement. You also need to get yourself an L if she's moving this fast on things. You need to protect yourself and your rights to the maximum possible extent.
M: 40 W: 37 T: 20 MR: 13 S13, S9, S4 BD: 1/29/18 Sep: 4/23/18 (I moved out) 8/24/18 I come home, she moves out
If you want to get out of the hole, drop the shovel.
jay, you were already at LRT stage at BD, in my opinion. You don't have to make a hasty decision and you can tell your W that you need time to process things. If she wants to move out then tell her to do so and that you're not stopping her.
You really should come to an agreement with her regarding visitation, as well as finances, and it should be as equal as possible for visitation and as reasonable as possible for a financial agreement. You also need to get yourself an L if she's moving this fast on things. You need to protect yourself and your rights to the maximum possible extent.
Yes I agree I’m at LRT stage, but to be honest now I’ve had a few weeks to process this sitch and also found a new lawyer today who thinks I have a pretty strong position, I’m almost ready to let W go and move on with my life.
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
For now I think it’s better for the children to be in the family home until they start back at school in September.
Keep them in settled in the family home, you keep the home and be their main carer.
I don’t think it’s going to be possible to keep the home - much as I’d love to, I built a studio in the garden ten years ago where I write my music and invested heavily, but my L says that will be taken into consideration in the settlement - wherever I go I will need to still be able to work from home and that should be considered in the final settlement
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
So W came back from holiday late on Friday and dropped the two boys with me at the family home. They both started crying and saying they were sad and that Mummy had said one of the reasons she was “leaving me” was because “Daddy doesn’t earn enough money” W has been out drinking every night since her return and even has been posting pictures on FB including a late night selfie where she looks absolutely trashed with the caption “No one puts baby in the corner” - hastily deleted of course. She is in contact with my brother and apparently was saying yesterday (no doubt hungover) “what am I doing?” - which of course makes me think the consequences of her going for this D are starting to hit home. I heard that she says that I am generally not “nice” to her, so while DB-ing I’ve got to remember to civil but at the same time it’s going to be hard to be kind when I’m already at the LRT stage
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
Jay love, you are doing very well to hold it together like you are. Our sitch are so so similar. Unfortunately we are screwed regarding the family home, it does need to be split in half. But there are way of doing this (in the UK) at least such as deferring the sale until the children are older if this is their main residence. This is something I am going to explore with my L if we get to that point, which now seems inevitable.
My advice for what it’s worth is be consistent for the kids and remain calm at all times as hard as it is. I know and I’ve slipped myself.
Last edited by Cadet; 08/13/1812:58 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
