All I'm going to say is that this is still the mother of your child and someone that in spite of your present state of anger, you probably still have a measure of love for. Nothing good will come from making this an ugly process, for you, her and most especially and importantly, your son. You are still going to be a co-parent with this woman at the very least. Don't be in such a rush and fueled by anger. There is a lot of cynicism in your posts and I don't know if that's your normal demeanor, or just because of how frustrated you are by your sitch, but I would urge you to find a way to settle your darker feelings down - meditation, yoga, martial arts, prayer, etc. Being vindictive and bitter is just as bad an example for your son as her drinking like she was around him. A different kind of bad, but still bad.
It doesn't matter what her confidants think and you shouldn't even be concerning yourself with that. Nor does it matter who this 15 yrs younger guy is or how he "compares" to you in any capacity.
Your W is clearly struggling with something serious and she told you as much in the exchange you detailed above. Tough love is what's needed, not venom.
Whether you end up with a D or eventually find your way to R, you and your son (and your W, for that matter) are best served with you being cool, calm, confident and collected.
M: 40 W: 37 T: 20 MR: 13 S13, S9, S4 BD: 1/29/18 Sep: 4/23/18 (I moved out) 8/24/18 I come home, she moves out
If you want to get out of the hole, drop the shovel.
