Thank you so, so much, Ruby!! Yes, it is difficult when you've been w/ someone since aged 19, and, as you said, morphed into one person. I had let myself do that for SO long. I was so naive to think that once he became sober (nearly 30 years ago) that everything was "all better" and I backslid on my own emotional recovery.
I am learning to find who I am and try to GAL, although I feel like I still have a ways to go yet on that. I'm going to book clubs at my local library, when my schedule allows, and after 15 years here, I finally feel like I have found something in this area that I like to do. I also keep in contact with old friends from neighboring states. I've lost some (needed) weight recently, which is something else I'm doing for me. For a while after H decided to stay in the M, I had obsessively cooked for him, as his love language is food. But now, I need to look after myself and not bring foods that I can't have into the house. I'm learning to rethink how I do cook in light of my new healthier me.
I love your quote. This is SUCH a necessary lesson, especially since I've been with H, as you said, my entire adult life. There is no knight in shining armor. There is no Superman. He is not, as my therapist said, a "wounded prince." It's hard to face reality and maintain a balance, but I'm working on it.
I am grateful for your support.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -- Eleanor Roosevelt, This is My Story
