Hard to be positive

[Ruby100]

Oh bless you Notavic, it’s hard when you’re been with someone most of your adult life to find that they’ve let you down. It’s like half of you is missing. Your hopes & dreams shattered. I’m sorry that you’re feeling so much pain.

Maybe it’s time to focus on you? Find out who you truly are & what you like to do - in a long term R we kind of morph together as one sometimes forgetting our own needs.

If I had to say one positive thing that has come out of my situation then it would be the journey of finding of my true self & from someone who’s had low SE issues, I now quite like myself. It has taken lots of work & a determination that my H & the OW would not destroy my life anymore than they already had.

Someone gave me advice when my H left & she said never refuse an invitation, however much you don’t want to go, be brave & accept. I’m not talking about another R, but going out, having fun & conversation with others. For me it’s generally with women because it feels safer. I’m always amazed, when you open up to people, that they all have a story to tell.

I can’t imagine that your “roommate” situation is easy but he’s still there. You have an opportunity to try to turn this around. Only time will tell if it’s possible. But remember to look after you first. - that is the most important thing at this stage.

I have a book that I write quotations in & somewhere I read this:-

“There is no one out there to save us, to take care of us, to heal the hurt. But there is a very fine person within, one we barely know, ready & willing to be our constant companion” James Hollis

I/we are all here for you to support you. I’m sending you love & wishing you peace x