Has it gone too far?

[Fogg]

I can understand why it would bother you, I've ran into similiar circumstances when I was living with my ex. Yours may not be trying to get any reaction out of you though, shes just in la-la fantasy land right now. Shes getting her legal separation and in her mind shes a free single woman, anything you do or say will like your trying to get into her business and control her.

I was a mess after BD, did all the wrong things. I ended up feeling 100% responsible and due to her anger I slept on the couch. I took around 3 months before my mind shifted and I realized she was the one who wanted to leave the M and I wasn't going to sleep on the couch anymore. When I told I was done sleeping on the couch and I planned to go back to my bed, she became hysterical. She went up and barricaded herself in the room with the bed against the door. I tried to talk to her but she was in the wrong mindset, I did not try to force myself into the room even though I could have. This is where you could encounter issues if she overreacts and its very important you have control of yourself, do not try to force anything. You state your position and if she wont physically you have to find another way to enforce it through calm strength, never force. I've heard advice on this forums before to move her things out of the marriage bedroom and basically tell her "I will not share the bed or bedroom with you anymore. You want out of this marriage, you can be the one to leave". Something along those lines anyway, you might have to look back at the boundaries.

As I said, its very important for you to control your side of things. There can be no angry argument if you are calm and don't get caught up in reactionary behavior. You have the power to avoid it by not engaging in that way.

The day after my ex locked herself in the bedroom we had a discussion and we came to an agreement where we split the room on different days, as you are doing now. Sure, I could have fought for the entire room and may even have gotten it, but at the time I wasn't as strong as I am now so it was a huge gain for me in terms of getting my balls back. She even apologized for acting so irrational and emotional the night before.

Do not do any of this to get a reaction out of her, to teach her a lesson,to control her, to punish her. Again, boundaries are about you