Read the detachment thread. You are confusing detached with checked out. You both were checked out before, not detached.

Also google self differentiation in marriage. That's what you are shooting for. Derachment isn't ignoring her. It's not being focused on her. It's not reacting emotionally to what she says and does. It's being present (notice the opposite of checked out), but not following her around, hounding her, and looking like a puppy dog trying to win her approval.

Go read my first 2 or 3 threads. You'll see Istruggled with the same thing.

Once you're not focused like a laser on her, and once you're not reacting emotionally to what she says and does, and you can have light, fun conversation and some non- sexual touch affection without expectations, then by all means start sprinkling some of that in.

Do what works. Stop anything that doesn't.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018