I am so angry at her for the way she ended it. For not telling me sooner how she felt. I am so angry that I now have to change everything in my life.
I am so angry that she seems to have everything sorted, a place to move into, and that nothing much changes for her. My whole life has fallen apart, while hers carries on as is without me.
I don't know how to let go of this anger. The very honest part of me knows the relationship was over. But that also makes me angry that we didn't try and save it when it could have been saved. That we ran it into the ground without a stop and think.
I don't know how to get out of this thought spiral. These same thoughts keep going round and round in my head. I know I need to move forward, and in the moments where I can see a future, it feels great, I feel positive, full of energy and can't wait to get started with my new life.
Then I get dragged back into the spiral and start hating and crying again.
I have noone to vent this too. My "friends" aren't close enough friends to talk about this. Finn is a good listener when he's not busy with his nylabone but not much of a verbal communicator.
I know I need to let go. I want to let go. But I can't let her "get away with it". It just isn't fair. And I know, I know, I am always the one who says life isn't fair, so get over it, but this is hard.
