Help Please!

[Terapin]

Thanks.

I've read a ton of stuff. That's what makes it hard to detach, GAL, etc, because I've already been doing a lot of that stuff the last 10 years. lol

Anyway, just a brief conversation last night about the kid and dogs. No mention of anniversary or anything.

One thing she said last week that I just remembered, was something about how she 'has the confidence now to make a go of it alone'. Something like that. When she was younger she had some self esteem issues.

Eh, talk is cheap. It is easier said than done.No doubt she feels that way, but when rubber meets the road and she is facing the actuality of having to be on her own, she may start to waffle. It is called REALITY. WASs and WWs especially sometimes need that reality to wake up.

Keep DBing Terapin, It is never too late to start.

Thanks Steve. The hardest part I think is just not being able to 'shake her' and say like 'wtf, let's get this fixed!'.

Honestly, her not wanting to be married to me anymore doesn't bother me that much. Her not being in love with me doesn't bother me that much. I think those feelings and emotions come and go, rise and fall, etc. I don't think 'love' disappears. I think it just gets buried under piles of negative emotions, pain, anger, etc.

The thing that hurts the most is an unwillingness to work on things. I think motivation is the main factor in love. You have to be motivated to fall in love or stay in love. And without having the motivation to try to get past and/or deal with all the negative stuff suppressing the 'love', it's just impossible to find it again.