New Year, new thinking..

[Rita]

Coly, my darlin, there are two ways to avoid struggling through the pain, heartache and rejection of being an LBS.

1. You can have an MLC and get crazy and angry and rewrite history.
2. You can get bitter and angry and focus on the bad parts of your history.

I don't know how to walk in the light except via faith. I don't think you have faith in your life, so it must be really hard and confusing to figure out what the heck to do with your broken heart.

Besides faith, I have found so much solace in silence, in not answering my H and not trying to justify myself or ask him anything or ask him for anything. I trust that if he ever wants to come back, he will initiate,ask, explain. I notice in your posts that you do a lot of engaging with him, a lot of asking, explaining, etc. You can feel all the things you feel, but try to zip the ol' lips! He can't listen to any of that, and I think you are going to feel less crazy if you stop trying. You won't get an answer on your timing anyway. Try to just listen to him without answering for a long while, see what happens to your own feelings when you do.

Don't worry about closing your heart. You are a light of a person either way so I don't think that your light can be snuffed out by anything.

Wish I could make you a cup of tea and give you a hug!