When I had trouble with my S13 last year, he had all these new friends and was running the streets and I could never find him -- it was so shocking because it was such a huge change from elementary school when all the moms knew each other and kept in contact and arranged parties, etc. -- but anyway I slowly but surely managed to get the number of each and every mom of his new friends and just started trying to make friends with them, have coffee, etc. And slowly I was able to get a handle on where he was most of the time through the other moms, and to kind of reach out for help at times.

Sounds like you are totally on top of it, but I was going to also suggest you could have an open house one day, like a pot luck brunch, and just invite all the parents of your kids' friends to hang out.

Also glad you were able to get perspective on the rest of it.

Today I once again heard my D9 telling my H that "if only Mama would let you take back (our business) with (his friend) then you could have money again." He had told her some weeks ago, as part of his recent campaign to justify his actions by feeding the kids with various rewrites of history, that I wouldn't let him "have it back." Meanwhile this is the biz I had to sell when he abandoned me to run it alone, he even got paid for his shares of the biz thought the biz was in huge debt; and then the buyers never paid me, so I have been in court for almost two years, as my own lawyer. My H decided one day this year that he wanted the biz back and could not understand any of the legal or financial reasons why this was not possible.

Well, the point is, I violated my own advice to you and told my D that I heard what she said to papa and that I had told her that that wasn't what happened and she was still talking about it, which causes problems. HOW HORRIBLE IS THAT?!!!!

Then I went into my room and beat my head against the wall, at least figuratively, for not trusting that God would put all lies to rest one day and just to beat myself up for being so wicked as to say that to my D. I feel so horrible about it. And it reminded me of your struggle to try to justify yourself and not appear as the bad one. It's a serious temptation, one I thought I was mastering but today realized I still struggling with.

You are doing great, sjohn!

Last edited by Gerda; 08/10/18 02:58 AM.
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.