Coming out of the Fog

[DonH]

It's really hard to tell the "tone" or "spirit" of something like this. On its face it may not at all be anything he was trying to be mean or derogatory about, but on the other hand, depending on how it was presented, it could be very mean or derogatory - as in "how F'in stupid are you to not pack enough cups." We are not there. That said, what strikes me is this is the second time where you had a rather severe reaction to criticism that could very well just be teasing by him. The last time as I recall it was in an airport where you asked a Jehovah Witness for directions or something like that. Now it's you not packing enough cups. Is he looking for things to degrade you about or are you just being too sensitive? Again, it's hard for us to tell as we are not there. Are there other things he does like this that bother you or is it just when you do something that deep down you may actually feel like you did do something worthy of some ribbing that you don't like it? It really could be either - it's hard for me to tell.

Like the last time, did you bring this to his attention? If not, why not? Is this really something to base breaking up with someone over? Again, for me, it would be a pattern of behavior that might bother me rather than just here or there. If someone was constantly looking for opportunities to belittle me or even joke with me (what they think is joking) and it was starting to bother me, I'd talk with them about it and simply say something like "I don't know if you are intending it this way or not but what you did really hurt my feelings." See what his reaction is. I think that would be the way to address it. Most certainly the way NOT to address it is by then getting passive aggressive and doing things just to get back at him - like I'll show you, you want to make fun of me, I'll play games with you. That's just childish. For sure, this is not something you break up over - is it? Or is this just one symptom of a much larger problem? Are you looking for a reason to end things? Again, not being there, it would seem rather odd to break up over something like this - especially if you are saying that he is otherwise a really good person.

Hope that helps shed some light.