I am struggling with what to do with NG. We went out a few weeks ago. Had a nice time. Then this weekend, he was meeting a few of my friends for the first time. I had packed a bunch of stuff for a picnic. He made a pretty big deal about how i packed only a small amount of cups. (Reason being that my other friend was bringing lots of single water bottles so no need). He made it into a comic sketch about why was i bringing so few, i was being stingy, what were we all going to share a single cup. Etc. Etc. It was just so ridiculous and stupid that he made a big deal. I felt like he was looking for something to argue about. I had prepared a lot of stuff to take and my son was with me. So him bringing that up didnt feel like good natured banter. It annoyed me. I felt like he was putting me in a position where i had to explain to him why i was bringing so few cups...almost like i was a child or an imbecile.
My one friend remarked that she was surprised at the aggressiveness of it considering he didnt know her or any of my friends that well. My friends are not the uptight type of crowd. They are pretty down to earth. One was a female military officer, so she is accustumed to male humor. The other friend is pretty loud herself. I dont think its me being hyper sensitive.
I felt like it was a silly thing to make a big deal out of. And since then it put me on the defensive. Every suggestion he is making. I am doing opposite. And i am getting passive aggressive with my reasons why, when i know he is trying to help. He is helping in a pretty arrogant way and just doesnt see it.
I suspect he likes banter and was maybe trying to joke as a way to socialize. He never really talked to prr tried to engage with my friends. I dont know if he felt uncomfortable, sensed my anger or just cant socialize. He was also referring to strangers in really derogatory ways. Which ibdont like and i feel thats a bad example for my son. Hes just so judgemental and critical. Its immature.
He hates going out in the heat, so i recognize that it was nice for him to come in the first place. And the truth is, its not an abusive relationship. I think i am actually in the position of power. I am pretty sure he would do anything for me.
Its just i am pretty positive i cant handle that argumentative personality type.
I just feel really bad about breaking things off cause in some ways he is a really good person. He is generous to people when they are in need. Cares for animals and his kids friends when they are in trouble. He is and would be committed.
