Eeek! Betsey, I've had almost the same conversations with my H. So yes, I suspect what Mr. W and my H are saying IS true for many of the WASs.
Here's what I've heard: No, he's not happy. He wants to be happy. He hasn't been happy since he left. His "life fell apart" the day he moved out. That he doesn't have answers. That he's losing so much by leaving us. It hurts. And all of what's below:
Quote: He all but admitted to me that he pulls away from me when I get to close or he finds himself thinking about how he's screwed our lives up. He said it's too painful to deal with, so he distances himself... and also shared with me that his time in the cave after he chooses this option is very difficult, and that he goes through periods where he cannot sleep.
Right now, I see the guilt as being the primary obstacle. For in my chats with Mr. W. he usually follows up his standard sentence, "I don't know if I could ever love you again" with ones that indicate the complete opposite: "I'm so unworthy and I don't know if you could ever love me again."
Oh my. Well, thanks for posting this because I needed something to chew on this morning, something that would get my compassion flowing again and something that would help me in my own journey forward. (went to a brewing party last night, that helped too, LOL )
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