Yes.. just to clarify- I didn't mean me being younger and with a lighter hair colour is by any means superior, although I realise that it might sound like that. I love being with someone older and the age difference has never bothered me, and I already done counselling many years ago with full realisation and conclusion that it is to do with my own father passing away suddenly when I was 9 yo. I will always keep looking for a father figure in my husband, and it something so deep ingrained in me, also it is alright with me as long as I am well aware of it and it hasn't disturbed my life (up to this time now). When I was thinking of the low point this morning it wasn't by me being better than him or thinking that he should be lucky with me, it didn't cross my mind at all- it was more to do with the realisation that I might be wasting my time and youth (yes, my ticking clock!) by trying to convince my husband to have children with me, whatever age my husband might be.. and downgrading by being the only one to blame for the issues in the marriage and trying to convince him to say married with me- age here doesn't matter at all. All this pursuing, apologising for crying and asking to stay and work in our marriage- that's a downgrade. I never ever thought myself to be in this position and here I am doing exactly that.
Yes, I do get male attention outside home, when I was dating there were a lot fo men wanting to go out with me but the only man I fell in love with was the man I am married to now... and my H knows that because of my absolute devotion and love for him, and that is his power.. up until now.
As I haven't had any intimacy for more than a year now, it has crossed my mind to have an A.... but I don't have guts to do it .. yet. But I can honestly say in this board that I do miss a good [censored].
W34 H61 M1 T3 June-H said he wants divorce but hasn't filed. Living and sleeping in the same bed, no intimacy from H side for last 12 months.
