D - I think you handled the meeting well with your W and I am glad you did not accept a hug from her. Since the dog is very important to you both I like the fact you suggested a structured visitation schedule.
Lastly I would not believe anything she said in relation to the other man. Your W sounds similar to mine and was very nice to me, downplayed her reasons for moving out, and was never over the top disrespectful to me. Looking back my W was online, dating and meeting other guys the moment she moved out of the house. I confronted her 1 time about a guy I found out about and she denied the whole thing and downplayed whatever was going on. I would never bring up OM, her happiness or anything else related to her well being or her feelings ever again.
Since you are separated your job is to detach, detach, detach, and do not worry about anything she is doing or be lulled to sleep by her being nice.
