WAS or WHAT 11

[roist]

Gordie. Just a word to say that you were right about taking a step back. Apparently that it exactly what I was doing and why I came back here. Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees!! I can now see the forest and the huge mountain range it covers and more importantly my path.

I had slipped into a helpless victim mentality briefly forgetting that I am where I am at because or my decisions and especially my situation continues because I choose this path. It's a tough path that every now and again wears me down. I felt lost largely due to being disappointed about my attitude/mood. I wasn't being who I am. I acted differently because she didn't deserve more/better! It's an understandable sentiment but one that isn't serving me well.

Yesterday I read an article about generosity means loving a spouse when they least deserve it. It means taking off the score keeping glasses. I have in the past posted on my own and especially on others threads about how we should act in accordance to our own guidelines, ambitions and integrity. Not in reaction to how we are treated. This rang a bell.with me as before I spent a long time working out who I wanted to be and working towards this. I got hung up with my thinking of "not like this"and wasn't acting how I want to. That was my frustration more so than my situation.

I reread my last thread which helped me figure out this. Maybe I should revise all my threads to see what other god stuff I have forgotten!

Anyway I am feeling better. Thanks for reading

Best wishes