please don't apologize or feel guilty for crying! You have feelings, you are a human, and you are entitled to them. He's entitled to his feelings as well, and you are right to validate them.
When you said you're a young blond 34 year old my natural male instincts perked right up. I'm thinking "Hey, that sounds great!" and got curious about you. Plenty of men will do the same. The fact that he's older and you want to save it doesn't mean you're downgrading. If you are letting yourself bee talked down to or hurt, then it's a downgrade.
I've been there and done that when it comes to crying and worrying about hearing the wrong song. It's no fun, but it will pass. You'll get stronger, your demons will get weaker. Take care of yourself, work on your GAL, take back your respect, and introduce a little fun into your life - you are a young blond after all!
Now there may be something to what Rose said as well, but that's for you to consider.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
