I agree with your first paragraph but I don't believe there is anything you can do about it and saying something to your W....IMO will only make things worse.
Hair pulling......personally would not bother me. I wish my dad would have done that versus thumping me on the back of the head
I would only suggest that you look inward and determine if you would have had an issue with her disciplining him by pulling his hair if you were still living under one roof or if you have an issue with it because of the situation your in, combined with everything else that has happened.
If she did this when you were together would it have made you sick?
