Thanks for the excellent feedback & suggestions. I'm still mulling over what I want to do-- and what I want. I will keep you posted when I come to some kind of choice about it.
In the meantime, I am living my life as you all so wisely remind me to do! And going with my when in doubt, do nothing rule.
Quote: Let me ask you this....when you see H is calling on caller ID do you cringe?? I DO! Which leads me to conclude that I am not feeling so great about our interactions lately!!
Sun, I don't cringe. There was a blip where I did, but usually I am pleased... and a lot of times that's been warranted but other times I've gotten knocked on my a** expecting something, even something tiny. Then at those times, I feel icky afterwards...which is not good.
Did you suggest that dinner to your H?
Quote: It seemed to me, Wonder, that things are great with you and that one little period where you weren't feeling all that happy kind of bothered you and threw you for a loop.
Triple J, do you have a spy in my house? To answer your question, why would I put myself in an unfriendly sitch... well, I wouldn't. The fact is my H has been friendly in most interactions we've had for a very long time... except when I was mulling over what to do about his filing papers... then he was just pushy and wanting nothing but the answer to that question. It was clear to me pressure was coming from somewhere because that's not how he is.
Honestly, most often I hear sadness in his voice when I talk with him. Occasionally he might be in a good mood, but it's 90% sadness.
Friendly I am fine with when the occasions arise. But "friendship" is something different altogether as discussed earlier on this thread. This is the stumbling block going forward for me right now.
Because let's face it, if my H were treating me like a friend and acting in a way I respected, he'd pretty likely be living here by now. Our reconciliation attempts would have been different, I know that. I jumped into them too fast without seeing the evidence, I know that in hindsight. I do not mean that he is a bad person-- I am talking about behavior choices here.
Mooka, I think your assessment was not far off the mark, as OW has been very pushy about him needing a divorce (cause we all know I caused his depression and kept him from happiness all these years and getting out of his marriage will make it all better). Oh well. I learned not to go there a long time ago.
people!
And going with my when in doubt, do nothing rule.
