I'm starting to make sense of what has happened... W and IL must have planned D about 6 months before she left. She was taking money, sleeping on the very edge of the bed, not doing anything to help at home, not making time for us as a couple, refused to acknowledge anything I did that was good, made a new secret friend who had dumped their husband and going through the same process etc.
W pretended to me that everything was fine (still sleeping together, looking to buy a new car and new home) so that I didn't suspect, and yet at times she was incredibly abusive towards me looking to create arguments to justify to herself what she was doing and to pretend it was all my fault. She must have been writing down everything and went to the police to try to get me into trouble so that she could get a quick D and custody of the kids. One of the things she complained to them about was that I had asked her for help with a spreadsheet, that is how desperate she was looking for anything to justify what she was doing.
W refuses to talk about R because it must have been over for her months before even leaving and probably didn't want me to realise what she has done.
Should I D her?
How does any of this HELP you?
To me, it feel like you are going around and around trying to find answers to questions that dont really matter anymore.
In my opinion, Divorce is just a piece of paper. Shes already moved out, the family is already broken....what difference does a piece of paper issued by the government REALLY make? If you need it for financial security or guaranteeing custody or something of the like, then sure, go ahead and file. All it really is is a business transaction anyway.
How can you focus on YOU and moving yourself forward? The GAL listed you posted feels very isolating to me. How can you work to expand your social network? How can you meet new people and try new things? Not to find dates, but to continue to build your confidence and to continue to find positive outlets to occupy your mind to keep from dwelling on the past.
