DavidUK- he might well use his lack of affection as a form of controlling... but from all these threads I realise that right now all I am doing is focusing on him. I must rewrite my goals and focus on myself. Just like you have done by losing the weight and putting the focus on yourself. It is amazing that you ar considering children with someone else other than your W.
I was amazed the councillor asked me that question. It took me by total surprise. I thought 'if I met someone genuine who didn't have a family but wanted one and who like me would be willing to work on any issues together that might ever arise, then yes I would'.
Before we split, I said to W about having another child. She said it was a "stupid" idea. Unbeknownst to me at the time she was taking money and planning D... whilst also sleeping with me and saying we were soul-mates.
I have never done drugs, don't gamble or smoke, good in all social situations, well-spoken, good sense of humour, affectionate, faithful, good at cooking, have done a great job raising my kids (top of the class by a mile) etc. However, W has taken it all for granted. She had never been in a serious relationship before meeting me so doesn't know how lucky she has been. It could take me a very long time to find someone who is compatible and appreciative.
The fact that you have been crying and upset shows to me that you care. Never be sorry for it, don't blame yourself. Your H should respect that you care enough to cry and to try, not see it as a negative.
