making it about me...

[Rita]

I think you are being dragged into a gross back-and-forth that requires you to think too much about your W, what she is doing and thinking.

I like DnJ's final advice line at the end of his post, but I personally would go even simpler -- e.g., "Thanks for letting me know." And then talk to your kids about what works best for the weekend. I would worry more about them being able to feel normal and not have to worry about you and your W arguing over their sleepovers and boundaries over who gets to decide what when. They don't care who is right or what is fair or who seems like the bad guy. They will see through any of her madness, but it might not be on your timing. I posted about this idea in my thread just now -- my S has been raging at me for four years or more. Now that my H has tried to win him over by telling him he is leaving and saying stuff about me, the actual result was that my S woke up out of his rage and realized I am the lighthouse here and have always put him first. It didn't happen because I tried to do anything. It happened because I was patient and kept leaning on God, choosing my actions by what was part of the light, even when it meant being misunderstood. They will understand when the time is right.