I think you've handled the situation quite nicely. You've been very upfront with your responses to the lawyer and now it is up to him to decide what he wants to do with the information. You've been more than forthcoming w/her over the years and kept her in loop where it concerns your daughter's health issue. She's not once put forth the effort to come to the house or arrange to speak them. She doesn't or can't admit that the girls are growing up and making decisions for themselves now. She can't accept the fact that they do not want anything to do w/her because of her own actions.
Yes, her lawyer is having a field day w/all of this...but he/she has to know that your xw is not all there when it comes to being rational about day to day life.
I think, at some point, you can casually mention what you've been told about the so called husband. That will put the final touches on the situation for your girls and they may shut the door completely for any type of relationship for a very, very long time, if ever.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
