Azure, thanks for the vote of confidence. It is all very peculiar, I think. I know what you mean about the defense atty. I feel like that too. And people sometimes mistake that for excusing his behavior-- to me they are different things. I do believe he is a good man who's gotten very lost... and frankly, can't seem to deal with that. He's creating a new identity for himself as far as I can tell... and the reason he's telling others (supposedly)? "I just fell out of love." Translation: Rewind the past two years. We are back in time, folks.
And that's not where I want to live, thanks.
Sun, glad you're back. I spent time in anger already, too. And occasionally, I get mad at something, but it passes when you let it pass. I really like your response. I said to two people recently that their anger and blaming just wasn't helpful to me, that I'd worked to move beyond that and wanted to stay there. One confused response and one positive response.
The funny thing to me (yes, maybe my humor is odd) is that these angry and disgusted reactions are the exact ones H told me he was so worried about getting if I were to "take him back". They really do see with dark glasses on, sometimes.
Yup. I am still thinking over the friends thing. Or actually how I want to address the friends thing. I guess this has replaced the earlier decisions I was trying to make.
I have had two thoughts.
1. That I might write him a positive letter not completely unlike Betsey's... though not asking about our marriage, obviously, but this friendship he envisions. That would give him the opportunity to think on it and me the opportunity to have solid information to work with.
2. That we continue to pretend each other has fallen off the planet until he has some reason to contact me. This would allow him to have space if he needs that (or to avoid me altogether, if that's what he's doing)-- as well as perhaps the opportunity to immerse himself in a life that I am just plain not in (therefore not any kind of problem) and would give me the opportunity to do, well, something I am sure. Just not sure what.
I guess one while both send messages, one is also asking for a message.
Either way, I am also getting back in gear with my own goals. Not that I've gotten so off track, but have been a bit lazy.
