Im detaching, really trying to take care of myself and remove my emotions as much as possible. I do have some questions about detaching etc as ive read a lot of material and want to make sure i do it the right way.
1. Do I avoid going anywhere with W even if she invites? Do I extend an invitation to some things S and I are doing or completely shut her out since she doesnt want our M? (Im doing things by myself)
2. W basically goes on vacations w/ OM, and hangs out with him almost daily(lies about whereabouts) House seems to be hers so i cant throw her out, but Im not going to keep standing by while it goes on. Shes living a double life and her family or our S dont know the truth. Should i be filling them in? I am under the impression not to bring them into it? I kind of feel like shes getting off the hook because nobody knows what is really going on. She still looks perfect in everyones eyes, meanwhile shes doing her dirt, destroying her family, but getting praised from everyone around her about how good of a person she is. She has everyone fooled.
Im doing better keeping busy but it still plays over and over in the back of my mind like a bad nightmare. There is no change in W behavior since first thread. She did say she was going to file for the first time when I told her I refused to live in what she treats as an open marriage, which is a change because it went from not wanting a divorce and lying about improving M with MC, to W wasnt sure and finally to she plans on filing.
Im leaning towards doing a DB session. I need to iron out some specific details on how I interact and approach the situation from now on. Any advice is welcomed.
Together:20 years M:3 years Me:40 WW:40 S15 A suspected:5/17 AC:5/18 BD:8/18 WW in full blown R w/ OM Still under same roof
