I know you're right, Steve. I need to at least consult with one. I have no income right now whatsoever, so that could be a big hinderance. I've considered moving back in once I get a job, and if I can get a free consultation with an L, and they say that I can do that, then I really will think about doing it. As far as I currently know, there's nothing to prevent me from doing so, other than fear that it would be the death knell for any possibility of R.
When I left, it was only supposed to be temporary to give her some space and while I was out she said she was done and that's that and not to come back because D is going to happen and her decision is "irrevocable".
M: 40 W: 37 T: 20 MR: 13 S13, S9, S4 BD: 1/29/18 Sep: 4/23/18 (I moved out) 8/24/18 I come home, she moves out
If you want to get out of the hole, drop the shovel.