I really do need all the support and advice I can get. It means a lot.
David,
If this is the case why do you come to a forum for advice then constantly ignore the advise given?
You were being told about legal support right at the start but ignored most things and continued with this fantasy- while you continue to get shafted financially. Not for the first time either it seems.
Hi Benito,
A) First thing I did was to see a Dr to get counselling help. I see people every couple of days.
B) I got legal help to deal with W trying to get me into trouble. I had to deal with that first before other legal matters else it might have influenced them.
C) It has only been about 3 weeks since I realised W money situation when all the bits of info started falling into place. W will have to show 12 months of accounts at a D so what she's done in the last 6 months could go against her. I am researching who to best represent me and I am putting together a supporting document for reasons for custody and possible D.
Spent the morning with a counsellor, rebooked a session with another, talked to a friend for a few hours, talked to a relative for about an hour, talked to a neighbour, went for a walk and bought some nice food, bought and posted a birthday card, made meals, did some work on a list I've been doing for possible D reasons if I do it first, grabbed a couple of hours sleep, got the name of someone who does great haircuts, learned a bit about a new electronic device I've bought, did a computer back-up etc.
Spent the morning with a counsellor, rebooked a session with another, talked to a friend for a few hours, talked to a relative for about an hour, talked to a neighbour, went for a walk and bought some nice food, bought and posted a birthday card, made meals, did some work on a list I've been doing for possible D reasons if I do it first, grabbed a couple of hours sleep, got the name of someone who does great haircuts, learned a bit about a new electronic device I've bought, did a computer back-up etc.
When you are talking to a friend are you talking about your sitch? I find it best to not speak to friends and family about what is going on, I just give the basics as to why they are not seeing my W. Remember no on knows your sitch until you tell them, sometimes its best to just speak to a counselor.
Nothing on this list provides an activity where you are focussing on you, maybe the walk... are you exercising? such as creating a routine for excercising stay consistent with a routine. Join a gym, also its a good way to meet new people.
I would say you need some time to and space for yourself, use the time you have now for this. I know for me when i do things just for me I feel much better later on.
Wishing you peace...
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
Went for a very long walk and by chance I bumped into only Aunt of W. I said that W and I had split, She said "I'm not surprised, let me guess FIL is involved and they have been taking money". I was amazed that she guessed right. She said he'd done things like that to her - her own sibling.
The aunt said my IL told her they were renting a house locally. I told her they had lied to her, they own the house. We exchanged phone numbers.
I then went into a L office and explained W is hiding money in advance of D, so I may have to D her first. It is such a shame that it has come to this.
Thanks, I get the feeling that W started going down a path she feels obliged to continue to follow due to the very active support of her parents. I had hoped there would be something I could say to help support her breaking away from it.
If they're going to do crappy things, there's nothing you can do about it.
Also, it's good to see you around Ginger. I love seeing the more veteran posters!
Thanks! I am even more of a vet than my profile indicates. I have been here since 2008. As a scared 27 year old who just had her first baby and did everything wrong plus more. I try to help when I can.
