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[Jlh]

This roller coaster ride is just AMAZING! (rolls eyes)

Monday night, son and I called H earlier than his normal call time to say goodnight to son since kiddo was super tired. H answered and sounded pleasant. When I returned the greeting, he shouted, "HI!" in a very excited tone toward me. I'm proud because I kept my cool and didn't get too eager thinking it was a magical sign that he's out of his tunnel. We discussed our son for a few minutes and then he spoke to son and we hung up afterward.

The next day he was quiet and thoughtful when he picked up our son for the evening. at drop off time he was just as quiet. Something seems off in him, like he's wistful, if that makes any sense but I don't comment on his looking down like I used to, I just stay friendly and keep it cool. It was a hard day yesterday I admit, due to being exhausted from summer vacation insanity and doing it all alone in the house regarding DIY and cleaning, etc.

I'm proud of how I'm standing my ground and being more firm. I noticed my shoulders don't slump as much in his presence and I don't feel so sad. I'm slowly getting tough like if he doesn't come back, I will be able to survive and be happy on my own with my son. My job is going well, I got my first paycheck, and used some of it to get groceries with my own hard earned money. It felt so good!