Am I coming or going?

[Ginger1]

Since my house life is gone for the time being, let's talk about my love life. We all know it could be funny and entertaining at times.

I have to say, I have learned a lot of dating different men. Things I would have never known or felt before. Everyone brings something different to the table. Everyone also teaches you something about yourself.

I have seen Bandguy twice more. He came home from his trip Monday and I went over his house to watch a movie. Late. I did sleep over. I did not have sex with him. I'm not going to say things didn't get hot and heavy, but neither of us is ready for the sex. What was different? We slept in each other's arms all night. I haven't done that since FF. HC made sure not to touch me and sleep on the opposite side of a king bed. We woke up, he cuddled me, kissed me good morning and offered to make me breakfast before I went off to work. He is 12 min away from my work which was super nice. We never quite finished the movie that night, so he invited me over last night to finish it. And that's exactly what we did. He gave me a lovely kiss goodnight and I went on my way. His kids were there. Fast asleep. Actually, he had this horror movie on his very loud surround sound system and I couldn't believe the kids didn't wake. he said they sleep like logs, and he was right.

So yeah, I know some might judge. But when you are divorced with young kids, you get crafty dating. You figure it out. We may not be able to follow all the "rules" but really, it is almost impossible if you actually ever want to see anyone. I happen to be childless this week, and he goes away to band camp next week. You never know when you might see eachother next. If your kids schedules are going to line up. We are in a very similar position, we both get it, so we do what we do. We understand each other.

So far, I don't need to play the game with this one. Not at all. He shows interest, keeps in touch, thinks of me, looks forward to seeing me, and doesn't keep me at a firm distance. But we haven't gotten too close yet. We are not hot and heavy and fast emotionally. Not all in at all. We are just spending time together when we can getting to know each other.

He is probably my best choice logistically so far. I am not putting myself in an impossibly unrealistic position. So we can only see where it goes, but I am enjoying myself so far.

Funny. HC who never texted me when we were seeing eachtoher felt the need to reach out to tell me how he burned his member by urinating right after cutting up hot peppers. He had done this before and told me. Guess he felt the need to share again? I just said "I thought that was a lesson you would never forget" and left it at that.

But what a difference. A lesson I learned from this back to back dating thing. It need to stop denying my needs because they might not fit in with other's. My needs are important too. I paid zero attention to mine in my marriage. They aren't "wrong". It's also ok to let go of what doesn't serve you. I was not feeling good with HC. I began to think I shouldn't be feeling that way, and I should just accept what he was giving me. Band Guy has helped me realize I don't just have to accept what comes along and to be honest with myself.