Awww. Thanks, to all of you sweet people for such nice support and giving me the sense that yes, it's really fine to have a major problem with this.
And that yeah, I'm fine too.
I'm glad I sound good because this feels a bit tough. And for the most part, I am good... but I confess I vented a bit to my SIL (who is my close friend) when she shared all this in an email. I don't mean vent in the way of saying any negative things about H--because all along I have refused to do that and I am not going to start now-- but venting how I was feeling about his choices and my honest struggle with the very idea of being his friend.
This is something I need not to do because it completely distracted me for the day. Didn't have much focus at all.
I am just so very disappointed in his choices lately and more so the way he is acting with me about them. There. I finally said it.
KAW, I have no idea how he could suggest being my friend from where he is. A while back he said if we got D, he wanted "whatever relationship I wanted to have" because he wanted one... but I asked that question under (I thought) different circumstances.
He has not actually told me anything except that he "needed" to file D papers instead of "holding them over my head" and that "maybe it is not for me to understand". That's it.
But he's telling other people that being with OW is what will make him happy... that he decided this in the couple of weeks of therapy he did before giving me papers (3, I think).
So maybe he just thinks it makes him sound good to say he wants to be my friend, I don't know. It's all very illogical to me. I feel like you do, KAW, who needs friends like that??
