My story. Advice needed

[equalzr]

You guys hit the nail on the head. Ive been thinking about this alot lately, why would anyone want to be married to someone who cheats on them, lies to them, abandoned them, and villafied them in the process?? I feel that my wife died almost 2 years ago, because i have no idea who this monster is. That said, when youve been with someone for 20 years, my entire adult life, its a huge hole to fill. As has been said on here before, I have to basically date myswlf now, because i have no idea who i am outside of my M/family life.

What amazes me is how she acts like everything is normal regardless of what just happened. I truly believe my wife has exhibited some sociopathic traits which is scary. Even before this entire thing started i dont really recall her showing remorse for anything. Shes definitely a thrill/adventure seeker, very selfish, and doesnt seek forgiveness for anything generally.

Steve,

I have no illusions there is any magic bullet out there. Do i search for more kmowledge about the subject? Absolutely. I realize it is what it is and there isnt anything i can do about it. If everything works out right, Ill be taking some huge steps in being the best me I can be in the next few weeks.