Affair discovered 3

[STH17]

Running was great, the meetup was at a brewery and I stayed there til 9 hanging out with the other runners. I felt immediately accepted into the group, but I want to stretch myself by opening up and talking more to make some friends. I texted W while I was there asking to FaceTime my son, but she told me he was busy playing with his cousins. I said fine, I'll try another day. She said today would work, so I said ok I'll call tonight at 7. So I will be contacting her on our anniversary after all, but I'm not going to mention it, just going to talk to son. I'll be thinking about W a lot today though. It's a sad, sobering day.

Anyone have tips for a first anniversary alone? Feel the feels and mourn, or distract myself? It doesn't feel like a depression sadness right now, just sad and wistful disappointment.
There, I think naming the feeling helps. I think I'll try getting some work done now and come back to my feelings later in the day. I want to do some journaling or letter writing today to myself or to my wife, to really be completely honest with myself and with her. No plans to give it to her, I just need to write out all my feelings in a way I haven't done in a long time.