Ok, so I got off the dating app. I'm still talking to one guy on there that is going through basically the same sh!t I am. H knows about him and his situation. He actually empathized with the guy. He legit does not seem to care that I'm talking to him.
So.... I saw my IC yesterday. H went to see him on Friday. When H came home, I asked him how he liked the IC, and he said that he was told that he didn't need to see him and should find another counselor both for himself and for marital counseling. Obviously this was confusing to me. So I asked about it yesterday. We both know the laws about what he can and can't say to me. So he gave me this analogy:
If someone went to the dentist saying that they had cavities and needed their teeth fixed, the dentist would tell them to come in and see them. Upon coming in, the dentist realizes that the patient has sores all over their body, they're twitchy, and their teeth are rotting. The root problem is not the cavities. It's most likely meth. Fixing their cavities is not going to solve their problem.
H is not on drugs. Basically he is alluding that H might have a personality disorder, which he is not specialized in. He asked if I felt like I was crazy and not knowing what to expect one moment to the next. Well of course (hence the title of this thread). He said, "I see what you see."
So at least I'm not the crazy one.
But this man is in my life until I die, or all my children die, whichever comes first (I hope it's me). I do love him. When he's Dr. Jekyll, he's so wonderful. But Mr. Hyde is just a f@cking nightmare.
I want to help him. He's got to get better, if not for me then for the sake of our kids. There is no way he won't ruin his relationships with them eventually too if he keeps this up. He doesn't know how to have a healthy family relationship.
The last two nights that were "his nights out" he stayed in to talk with me... but it was to try to convince me what I needed to do to move out. I'm not moving out. When I say this, he threatens to stop paying the mortgage and blames me for saying I'm going to waste "so much money" bc I refuse to cooperate with the D.
