This statement he made confirms what I wrote in a previous post about how I believe my husband would try to come back if I were in another relationship. I don't even have plans to date, we're still married and even if we divorce I don't plan to date anyone any time soon, but if I were in a new relationship I think that would evoke a major response from my husband.
So you know my opinion is that you shouldn't reconcile with a guy who says he wishes his daughter had never been born. BUT - given that you still hope to reconcile - there is a way to test your theory above without actually dating.
Be mysterious. Be busy. Dress up nice when you do go out even if it's only to go to the library - when he sees you leaving the house while he's with your daughter he should WONDER about where you are.
I'm not saying to date, and don't do anything he could hold over your head later. But it's ok to let him IMAGINE you might be out somewhere where you might meet a man.
When my ex had his affair, I was DBing him and I remember one night I went out dancing with my best girlfriend. (As I recall it, I'm not sure we even ended up going dancing, but if we did, I certainly didn't meet any men.) But I do believe that played a role in our reconciliation at that time - like it hadn't occurred to him earlier that what was sauce for the gander could be sauce for the goose as well. He was cheating but hadn't thought through all the ramifications that I could just as easily go out and get a man. Sometimes just teasing the POSSIBILITY that you might find someone new is enough to snap them back into sanity. So don't do anything that isn't explainable later with a perfectly benign explanation, but feel free to leave little clues. Sexy new lingerie hanging to dry in the bathroom. Fresh flowers in the apartment which, if he asks, came from a "friend; nobody you know".
And yes, be busy if he invites you to another family get together. Let him feel the reality of what divorce will be like. Kinder to let him feel all of this now - while there's still a possibility of reconciliation - rather than later once you've already moved on with a new man.
And I don't think it's bad your daughter saying that to him - he needs to know that THIS IS THE REALITY when you leave your wife and child - a new man may become your child's stepfather. That's one of the consequences of his behavior.
