IMO......you pull the plug on it or you continue on like it is. When my XW told me she wanted to move out I was faced with the same decision. Either she stays in the house because she could not afford to move out by herself or I tell her to go and we come up with a financial arrangement.......that said she didn’t have 45k . My thought process at the time given 2 really crappy options was not give her some money each month. I did this because I didn’t think in house separation would work and if she really wanted to leave the mr I wasn’t going to control her with money essentially forcing her to stay. I don’t regret doing it because I think in house separation would have ruined our R even more and being separated did give us the space we needed. Granted I did not recon with my XW but it did help me heal faster and it had no bearing on our D settlement.
Just understand that in your current sitch you could be in limbo for a very long time, mine lasted 8 months because she really has no incentive to file for D unless she finds someone she wants to be serious with which is what happened in my sitch. If you don’t want to be in limbo then let her know you are cutting off her monthly stipend and she what’s she does. If you do this you just have to be willing to accept it might cause her to push forward with D.
I didn’t pull the plug on my Xw at the time I had no proof there was OM.
W says I’ll make pancakes fruit sausage for breakfast tomorrow since you came down today and are picking up D3 again tomorrow. Just say no thanks I’ll just pick her up... sounds like a pretty good breakfast and something I’d want to do. So since what I do is almost always wrong in dBing I’ll do the opposite?
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
I'll make pancakes tom since you're driving down again.
Coffee, fruit, sausages
I haven’t responded...
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Last edited by job; 08/07/1801:01 AM. Reason: add link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
. My thought process at the time given 2 really crappy options was not give her some money each month. I did this because I didn’t think in house separation would work and if she really wanted to leave the mr I wasn’t going to control her with money essentially forcing her to stay. I don’t regret doing it because I think in house separation would have ruined our R even more and being separated did give us the space we needed. Granted I did not recon with my XW but it did help me heal faster and it had no bearing on our D settlement.