Quote: I am enjoying my independence and I hope if I become involved with someone someday, he will appreciate my independent streak, 'cause it's not going anywhere!!
Good for you, Sun! It shouldn't go anywhere if it's who you are, IMO.
My H also has an independent, kind of rebellious streak... something I've admired in him. He's a pretty resourceful and creative guy.
Trish, I am ALWAYS thinking it seems. Maybe too much of that, too! Especially these days.
I am generally just so confused by my H's choice of how to handle things right now. I still feel very positive about what could be... but also very realistic that he seems to be choosing not to go that route for whatever reasons he chooses not to share with me. I have been taken out of the loop of his thinking and processing, and his life, for that matter. At NO time in our S, except right after the bomb, have I felt this "eliminated".
Sometimes I think my H is following some advice on how to alienate me completely. Kind of sad, really. But also gets me angry if I think about it too much.
Betsey just posted something on her Friends thread that summed up for me SO much of what I've been feeling... I do believe H has deep feelings for me (it's kind of obvious, really) and is so hurt and fearful that he is scared to try again, he is protecting himself. He is afraid I will never forgive him, afraid things will fall apart, afraid to take his end of control of things, afraid of wading through the feelings to get there. So now maybe it is just easier to avoid me altogether. The last times he was at the house, he was taking a picture of me with his phone... so he remembers what I look like anyway, LOL.
Nothing I can do about how he wants to handle things... wish I could get a handle on how I want to handle things. I am all over the map with that one the past few weeks.
H finally returned my call about the things I wanted to go over...apologized and said calling me back had "skipped his mind." My initial reaction to the message was anger-- how arrogant of him. But maybe he really did forget.
As far as I can tell he has relegated speaking with me into a window between 6-7 p.m. weekdays. Any other time, I get VM and any time he returns a call, it has been during this time. This is very telling. In the past, this has happened when OW is in the picture and I am being squeezed in when she is not around.
I have been busy every night this week at that hour, so I haven't called back yet because I'm not interested in playing VM tag.
BTW, I do tend to have a forgetful streak... the other day I called a colleague to ask advice on something, and completely forgot to ask her because we got onto other topics... yikes!
